Borderlands Movie Review: A Dime-Store Sci-Fi Adventure
Borderlands movie review Borderlands stars Cate Blanchett and is the newest film based on a video game—yes, the video game Borderlands. And I’m not going to pretend; I haven’t played Borderlands, but I have seen friends play it, so I know a little bit about it—enough to catch some of the references from the game that were in this movie. But no doubt,
other references just went over my head.
In the Borderlands movie, Cate Blanchett plays Lilith, and long story short, she and her band of misfits have to find this Vault before the baddies do. On a positive note—let’s keep that one singular—there were some action sequences that I felt had some fun in them. Is that a nice way of saying it? I feel it’s as nice as I can say it, but in the way the fun goes down, it feels like, yeah, you could also get more fun from the video game.
The action sequences would have left a much better impression on me if they weren’t bookended with awkward scene transitions and choppy editing. Because this is a PG-13 movie, it feels like it might have been shot to be rated R, and they had to edit it down to PG-13. That, or it’s just incompetently made—I don’t know.
Borderlands movie review
There are a couple of scenes where a character is amidst a bunch of enemies, and in the next scene, they’re just not. It leaves me with that feeling of, “But how did they get out of that?” The logical leap could be, “Well, it was probably a hyper-violent sequence cut to meet the PG-13 rating.” These are my theories and conjectures, no doubt, but I’m trying to bring reason to madness here. I can just see it being the case, given the director of Borderlands.
This movie was announced like nine years ago. I’m pretty sure most of the world forgot it was even coming out. But when I saw the trailer, I thought, “All right, that could be fun.” Oh, okay—no secret, I’m just not an Eli Roth fan. I actually surprisingly enjoyed that Thanksgiving movie he came out with recently. I don’t mind saying that’s probably his best movie. Is Borderlands as good as Thanksgiving? Also, the horribly noticeable green screen—studios in Hollywood really need to figure that out because it’s plaguing a lot of films.
Directorial Style: Eli Roth’s Struggle with Tone and Pacing
Fact is, you have a couple of Academy Award-winning actors in this movie—Cate Blanchett, a legend, and we all know it. But she’s a legend who really looked like she did not want to be there in this movie. Was it one of those Bill Murray-Garfield scenarios where Bill Murray thought the movie was written by Joel Coen but it was actually Joel Cohen? The point is, nobody in this movie, including Cate Blanchett, who’s leading it, looked like they wanted to be there. Light at the end of the tunnel? She could be like, “But I’m going to get paid,” and I hope she got paid really well.
Then again, looking at the script—the dialogue, the awkward jokes that just fall flat—this movie is plagued with all of it. It could be a simple case of nobody being able to make this sound natural or good. It’s either the kind of humor a 50-year-old man writes thinking, “Hey, this is what kids like,” or it is, in fact, the kind of humor that kids like. All I know is it’s just not for me. In fact, you know what? I take that back.
To say the jokes fall flat in this movie is to besmirch flat surfaces. I apologize for that. Not one chuckle, not one laugh—not from me, not from anyone else in the theater. All three of us.
Atmosphere and Visuals: A Dime-Store Mad Max Universe
This movie just feels horribly miscast, and you run into this chicken-and-egg scenario, juggling the reasons as to why—which one is feeding into the next one. It just goes round and round, but the fact remains: bad wigs just don’t help the situation. The actor that brings the most entertainment on screen? Kevin Hart. I don’t know what to say. I know he gets a lot of…I’m just saying when it comes to being entertaining on screen, Kevin Hart did the most.
This movie does an interesting thing with space-time—not in the movie, but while you’re sitting there watching it. I checked my watch and thought, “This has only been going on for half an hour?” I would have bet cash it was twice that. It’s only 90 minutes—I appreciate that—but it’s the longest 90 minutes I’ve felt in eons.
In the end, Borderlands is an absolute throwback. It’s a throwback to the time of old video game movie adaptations. No, I’m not talking Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat. Those movies have character; they have charm. Also, the greatest response burn in cinematic history: “But for me, it was Tuesday.”
Sound Design and Music: Generic Sci-Fi Soundscapes
No, Borderlands is a throwback to a far darker time, my friends—the Uwe Boll days. You remember those days. That was a time—a couple of times—I found myself wondering who would pick up the mantle of Uwe Boll in video game movie adaptations, and I guess that’s Eli Roth. It’s a boring fetch-quest, scavenger-hunt movie with some
okay action sequences sometimes, with characters you’re not invested in, you don’t care about, with dialogue that feels clunky, jokes that fall flat, and actors that just seem bored because of it all in what feels like a generic setting. The wasteland—or actually, the universe in this film as a whole—should feel more interesting than it actually does. It just feels like a little dime-store Mad Max here, dollar-store Guardians of the Galaxy there, dollar-store Suicide Squad there.
Final Thoughts: A Throwback to the Worst of Video Game Adaptations
Will this one day become one of those “so bad it’s good” guilty pleasure movies? Perhaps, but not today. As of today, Borderlands is dogshit.
All right, so Borderlands—have you seen it? What did you think about it? Or what’s your favorite or least favorite video game-to-movie adaptation? Favorite gets more narrow—least favorite, man, we’ve got some pickings. Whatever it is, whatever you think, comment below, let me know. And as always, if you like what you’ve seen here and you want to see more, click right here to see more.
Plot Overview: A Scavenger Hunt Gone Wrong Description
Returning to her home planet Pandora, an infamous bounty hunter forms an unexpected alliance with a ragtag team of misfits. Together, they battle alien monsters and dangerous bandits to uncover one of Pandora’s most explosive secrets.
Release date: August 8, 2024 (Hungary)
Director: Eli Roth
Budget: $110–120 million
Distributed by: Lionsgate, Lionsgate Films
Based on: Borderlands; by Gearbox Software
Music by: Steve Jablonsky
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People also ask for Borderlands Movies
What is the Borderlands movie based on?
Borderlands is a 2024 American science fiction action comedy film co-written and directed by Eli Roth, based on the video game series developed by Gearbox Software.
How much did the Borderlands movie make?
The film has earned just $18.6 million worldwide to date, according to Box Office Mojo.
Who is playing Moxxi in the Borderlands movie?
Mad Moxxi. One character many Borderlands fans would have hoped would make the cut was Pandora’s very own sultry barkeep, Mad Moxxi, who is set to be played by actress Gina Gershon.
Is Brick in Borderlands movie?
But despite being two of the original Borderlands’ four playable characters, and despite being two of the most beloved characters in the franchise, Brick and Mordecai are not currently set to appear in the Borderlands movie. Instead, the Borderlands movie sees Lilith and Roland be joined by Tiny Tina, Krieg, and Dr.
